Your lawyer made you hire a parenting coordinator, and now you’re stuck wondering who this person is and whether they’re going to fix your co-parenting issues or make things messier. Fair question.
Here’s the deal: a parenting coordinator is a neutral professional brought in when two parents are stuck in a cycle of conflict, usually over the small stuff (vacations, exchanges, texts, logistics), and sometimes the big stuff too. When communication breaks down, and every interaction feels like a minefield, a parenting coordinator steps in to help you carry out your custody order without constant courtroom trips.
They’re not your judge. They’re not a therapist. And no, they’re not your secret weapon. Their job is to cut through the drama and help both of you stay focused on what really matters: your child.
What a Parenting Coordinator Does (and Doesn’t Do)
Parenting coordinators aren’t here to fix your relationship, they’re here to help manage it. Their main job is to reduce conflict and improve communication so the custody order gets followed and your child doesn’t end up stuck in the middle.
Here’s what they do:
- Meet with both parents (sometimes separately, usually together)
- Help interpret the existing custody order
- Offer practical solutions to recurring issues
- Guide one-off decisions like schedule swaps, doctor visits, or activity conflicts
Here’s what they don’t do:
- They don’t change your custody order
- They don’t offer therapy
- They don’t keep things confidential
That last point is crucial: parenting coordination is not confidential. Anything you say—via text, email, or in a meeting—can be shared in court. The coordinator can even be called to testify. So treat every message like something a judge might eventually read.
They can weigh in on whether the order is being followed, suggest minor logistical tweaks, and help clarify vague areas—but they can’t rewrite the agreement or override court orders.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Working with a Parenting Coordinator
✅ Do keep your tone respectful and your focus on logistics. You’re not here to rehash old fights—you’re here to figure out who’s picking up your kid from soccer.
❌ Don’t use your child as a go-between. Ever. It puts them in the middle, and it rarely ends well. Let the coordinator help you build better systems for communication.
✅ Do stay open to solutions. This isn’t about being “right.” It’s about making things easier for your child—and for you.
❌ Don’t assume the coordinator is on your side. They’re not. Their job is to stay neutral and keep the focus where it belongs: on your child’s best interests.
When It Works, It Really Works
Parenting coordination isn’t magic—but it is effective. It creates structure, keeps the custody order moving forward, and gives both parents some much-needed reality checks. Less courtroom drama. Fewer 11pm angry texts. More stability for your kids.
Need Help Navigating the Chaos?
At The Law Office of Wendy S. Meadows, we’ve seen parenting coordination turn high-conflict situations into calmer, more functional co-parenting relationships. Whether you’ve been court-ordered to participate or you’re considering it voluntarily, we can help you make the most of it.
If you’re looking for less conflict and more calm, reach out today. Let’s find a better way forward.
Law Office of Wendy S. Meadows, LLC
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