Ask any family law lawyer, and they will tell you, we provide countless hours (billable!) as hand-holders. Much of our work is wrapped up in helping our clients emotionally and thoughtfully navigate a path through one of the most challenging times of their life. Some lawyers do a great job at this. Unfortunately, some do not.
Some lawyers will really listen to you and your concerns, understand where you are coming from, but then steer you in the right direction. They will do so kindly and in a way that makes you feel heard but educates you on your weak points. They will be patient but firm. This is the type of lawyer you want.
Other lawyers may not be so patient and firm. Other lawyers may listen to you, tell you that you are 100% right, fail to reality check with you, but make you feel good, and then when it is time to make a decision (or go to court), you are surprised that nothing went your way and you feel “blindsided.” I venture to go out on a limb and say you don’t want to spend your hard-earned money feeling “good” and “confident” until you realize that your position wasn’t as great as you thought, but your lawyer didn’t want to be the one to tell you that.
Finally, other lawyers mean well and don’t want to set you up with unrealistic expectations. During your first meeting with them, they reality check with you so hard, fast, and cold, that you leave their office feeling defeated and small. While you appreciate knowing the weak points of your case, you also want to feel heard. If you are going to fork over thousands upon thousands of dollars to someone, you want them to actually know you and your story. You want to feel heard.
Perhaps the solution here is that instead of relying upon your family law lawyer to meet your emotional needs, you need to find a coach instead.
- Someone who understands the family law process
- Someone who will be honest with you
- Someone who will listen to your story
- Someone who will help you set goals (and achieve them!)
- Someone who “gets you” so that when you do sit down with your lawyer, you are confident and articulate and can approach your meetings with your lawyer as a “business” meeting as it needs to be.
If you are new to following me, it may surprise you to find out I am no longer accepting litigation cases. Since 2021, I have devoted new business in my practice to mediation, collaborative law, and representing children.
This does not mean, however, that I can no longer help you if you are embarking upon a divorce and need help. My help now comes in the form of coaching. Please read here to find out more.